Letter From a Miniature Horse

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Dear Appy Pony,

I am 1 and ¾ years old. (The ¾ is an important distinction)

I have heard my human refer to me as a “Miniature Horse” and while I may be closer to reaching the grass then others I feel VERY big inside!!! I’m just not sure how to show her this??
I don’t feel like anything about me is Miniature and I really want EVERYONE to know just how BIG I really am, especially my human!!!!
I have tried a few ideas of my own:
First, I tried standing upright on my hind legs to give the appearance of being taller but this was not kindly acknowledged. My Second attempt was when the muck cleaner came in to my corral. I had been standing there just brainstorming all day and then it came to me like a bolt of lightning. I thought maybe if I showed great force then they would see how BIG I truly am inside. In a flash of adrenelian, and without really putting enough thought into the action, I took both back legs and power kicked him with all my might!!
POP!
“That should do it” I thought initially. “I bet he wasn’t expecting me to be nearly THAT strong.” The impressive force did knock him back at least an inch BUT instead of being impressed, the rest of the muck cleaning crew fell to the ground laughing hysterically. My bravo was instantly deflated. I was ashamed and all I could do was just tuck my tail and hang my head. I found the nearest corner to go get lost in and if there had been a big rock then I’m sure I would have found a way to climb right down underneath it.
I need help!!
Please help me to show them how big I really am inside!!!

Signed,

Mini Mighty Might

Dear MMM,

The passion displayed in your letter makes it clear to me that you indeed have a VERY big heart! And your stories show me that you are creative, inventive, and even Wiley at times. I am confident that in time everyone around you will come to see all these amazing attributes.
I know that at 1 years old……….. excuse me, I mean 1 and ¾ years old it may be hard to find patience but you should try to let time tell the true story.
Also, be PROUD to be a Miniature Horse, it is quite an honor. After all, I bet your human spends a ridiculous amount of money on you every month and you don’t even have a formal job to speak of? Why? Simply because you are a Mini and being a Mini seems to carry some sort of unspoken title to Royalty. A title where you are certain to be financially provided for just for being you. There are not many breeds that can lay claim to financial independence like that. Don’t be afraid of who you really are, learn to wear your title with pride and your size will shine through as well.
Dare to be you.

Signed,

Appy Pony

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Horse Purchase Agency Contract Idea for my Trainer Friends

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Hello Barnyard Friends,

Sorry I have not been on writing lately! Being a veteran schoolmaster pony I find my summers to be VERY full teaching all the little ones the ropes. A very important job that requires my utmost attention to detail (of course, that is to assure that I receive a plethora of horse treats and carrots)
Once summer was finally a wrap I think I took a whole month to nap!! Now I am refreshed just in time for the Halloween Pony Costume party next week, one of my favorite times of the year.

Anyways, I am writing today on a more serious note. Having the advantage of many years and very big ears I end up listening to much confusion regarding the commission prices collected on sale horses. The trainers may feel that there hard work and countless hours is not being properly reimbursed while the client may feel they are actually paying too much.

In my humble Appy opinion this comes down to proper communication. Communication between trainer and client is the real key to any successful negotiations. There are many different ways to approach this but I have taken a moment to write up a very simple contract that helps initiate such communication.

Please remember that this is in no way a “Legally accurate” document, or even a final draft of any kind. I’m just a pony for goodness sake. Rather you should simply view it as a good place to start and then adapt it to suit your needs.

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A quick blurb about your qualifications and/or services provided.

Outline your price: Example
Our commission is simple: We charge 10% of the purchase price This fee is used to cover all the different Trainers, Instructors involved, Grooms, and/or head hunters that were used along the journey to finding your perfect match. ___________________________________________________

When is this commission paid? The commission is paid in 2 stages.
(Stage 1) ALONG-THE-WAY PAYMENT
A portion of your commission is paid during the search. Along your journey you will need to pay for all services that involve our labor such as trial lessons, trainer rides, evaluations, time spent at vet checks, arranging shippers, time spent communicating with sales barns, meetings exceeding 15 minutes in length, etc etc. This is charged at a simple discounted rate of $50 per hour (or insert your price) including travel time and applies to all services provided within a 100 mile radius of Stables. This total amount paid Along-The-Way will be billed monthly and will be credited towards your final 10% commission owed.

(Stage 2) FINAL PAYMENT OF COMMISSION
A final payment of the remaining 10% is due after you have found and successfully purchased your new horse. This helps to cover our years of experience, professional opinions, expertise in the field, extensive contacts and connections, as well as any commission tips to 3rd parties that were needed to steer us towards the right horse along the journey. *If the “Along-The-Way” expenses that you have already paid exceeds the 10% commission amount there will be no additional commission fee charged. In this case your financial obligation will be complete with the payment of just the Along-The-Way expenses. ___________________________________________________

Important Note Hard Costs such as: Hotel expenses for client and trainer, plane flights for client and trainer, and meals for longer trips will be the responsibility of the client at the time of purchase. These expenses do not factor in to the commission in any way. All costs, including hourly labor for out of town trips exceeding 100 miles should be negotiated between client and trainer prior to each trip.
(tailor this section to suit your needs)

Please sign and date acknowledging that you understand these terms _________________________________________   

In addition, you might want to elaborate more inside the contract itself OR maybe just include a Frequently Asked Questions page like this one.

Q: What if the seller is also in our same barn? A: If ________ Stables is representing both the seller and buyer in a “in house” arrangement then the commission will simply be split between both parties. Reduced to 5% each

Q: What if I decide just to lease a horse? A: The same commission applies to leases as does to sales 

Q: What if there is no sale or lease price as in the case of rescue or adoption? A: Then just the “Along-The-Way” expenses will apply.

Q: What if I change my mind and decide not to buy a horse at all? A: You may back out of the horse shopping process at any time. In this case only the “Along-The-Way” expenses would apply.

Q: What if I end up purchasing a horse entirely by myself or through another agent after you have started the process of searching for me? A: It is always your choice to use our service or not use them at any time. If you truly came to a purchase arrangement entirely outside of the assistance of __________ Stables then only the “Along-The-Way” fees will apply and no final payment of 10% commission will be charged.

Q: Is it possible for my “Along-The-Way” expenses to exceed 10% of the purchase price? A: Yes. For example: If you are looking for a very inexpensive pleasure horse or maybe you want to hold out for an incredible deal, then it may take us much longer to find it for you. It may also require extra research and many more inquiries and trials to find exactly what you are looking for in that price range. You will still owe for all the services “Along-The-Way” that you have required in your search but you will NOT owe any further commission price.

That’s it! I hope it helps.

Happy Huntering